so explain again why im purple
no
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
