If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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