Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
