That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
