Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
