She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
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So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
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Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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