last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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