Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
is it fun? or sober?
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