I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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