Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
