We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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