after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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