I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Alive.
So much puke
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
