Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
