I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
