the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
