I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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