you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
