why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
