Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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