You can't motorboat a personality
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
