We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
