He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
