It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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