So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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