you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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