So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
