New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
