Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
We named our party play list daddy issues
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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