so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
you will always have a special place in my vag
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
