If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
