90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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