so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
