found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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