I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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