It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
