so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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