On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
