Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
