butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
