So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
