you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i think im in europe. pls send help
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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