And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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