yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
