I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
