You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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