Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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