Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
