i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
the night ended with taco bell and tears
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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