What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i dont even know how to be here
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
