That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
