I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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