And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
