I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
