i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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