Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
