I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
