He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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