someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
