Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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