I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
