just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm like, not good at living.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
