Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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