call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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