Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
