shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
